Heavens and Stars
by nikki1997
Summary: Lucy was tired of her own weakness so she set out to train with her faithful spirits. During her journey she encounters a man plagued with guilt Jellal and as much as they dont want to hurt their friend Ezra they cannot deny their feelings for each other. Team Natsu eagerly awaits for her return. However will Ezra cope with her first love and best friend being together?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is only to be a long AN but there wont be any others this long. I'm saying this now this story is Jellal x Lucy so don't flame me later. If you want to read a nalu story I already have one posted. The reason this is JeLu is because firstly I think their magic is extremely compatible, secondly its kinda a rare pairing, I've only seen oneshots with them as a couple and a couple other ones that were incomplete.**

 **As much as I love canon, I enjoy reading non-canon pairings just to see the character development and how writers try to explain how the couple got together. I personally think that non canon couples allow for more character development because you have to account for relationship development. You are able to explore your characters emotions more deeply because you have to build the relationship up from nothing while canon the base line is already there.**

 **Lastly, this won't be the regular Lucy was ignored because of Lisanna so she ran away to get stronger. I'm sorry to the people who write those stories but I just cannot see Fairy Tail doing something like that so that's way too ooc for me.**

 **The story starts two weeks after they return from Tenrou Island and will probably end after the Eclipse gate thing. Its semi AU because I'll start Lucy off on her own adventure and eventually join up with Fairy Tail for the GMG.**

 **I own nothing**

 **Chapter one**

Seven years had passed since they all took their little nap on Tenrou Island and Lucy was hiding in her room. They were back for less than two weeks and in that time Lucy had mourned for her father and her mother all over again. Natsu, Ezra, Gray, Juvia and Wendy stopped by all the time, trying to get her to come to the guild with them or to go on a mission or to just leave her apartment but Lucy just couldn't find the energy after the first few days Ezra realized that only time would help Lucy and she needed some space so she had forced everyone to leave her alone for a little while just until she was ready to face the world again.

Lucy on the other had spent much time thinking, her fathers letter told her that she was her parents pride and joy and Lucy had craved to hear those words from him for years and now that he's gone she finally heard it and all it left was an empty, hollow feeling in her chest. Lucy had written to her mother ever since she died and she had taken to adding her fathers name as well, she wanted to tell them of her accomplishments and that was where the whole problem really started.

Lucy couldn't find any reason to be proud of herself, she thought back to her first ever meeting with Natsu and from there all she could think about was the numerous times that Natsu had been forced to save her because she could not save herself. It was starting to drive her mad. The creation of the strongest team, she did nothing when they took out the lullaby monster, she was tortured at the hands of Gajeel during the phantom lord attack, she only won against Bickslow because she had Loke's help, she was tortured by Kain, she was kidnapped, beaten, she was always the first one to fall and Natsu had to save her or Gray or Ezra and hell even Wendy saved her a few times even the bloody cat felt it was his duty to protect her. She eventually lost count of the amount of times she had to count on them to save her and her frustration and anger only grew, as did her sorrow and feeling of helplessness.

Loke could feel his Mistress, and he could feel her distress unable to stand her emotions of self loathing any longer he finally forced open his gate unable to just sit by while she destroyed herself, "Lucy what the hell are doing?"

Loke was going to say something charming hoping to either get her to blush or scowl at him for flirting but instead her found her on the floor of her bedroom with papers all around her and she was cursing and crying actually he was pretty sure she was in the middle of a mental breakdown of some sort.

Lucy stared at Loke with empty eyes because honestly she didn't how to answer to answer him when she didn't know what the hell she was doing either. She was feeling hateful towards herself and she loathed herself for feeling so much pity at her own weakness, the truth was she had no idea what she was supposed to be feeling anymore, all she could think was that currently she was a hot mess.

"Loke am I weak?" asked Lucy.

Loke looked at his mistress and then picked up one of the many letters that littered the floor and skimmed through it, understanding flashed through his eyes. Loke was not going to spew some sugar coated bullshit to her not now, not when she was digging this deep for answers, not when she was walking this fine line so instead he took a seat next to her on the floor and leaned against her bed so he could talk to her.

"Yes and no Princess."

Yes and no? What kind of answer was that? Lucy knew that there were times when Loke showed himself to her as the leader of the 12 zodiacs, when he would be absolutely honest with her without the flirting and the jokes, when he would be serious and she knew that this was one of those times. Loke was not going to say a few nice things to make her feel better instead he was going to calmly and logically think about the problem and give her facts and she was grateful. She didn't want her team mates to just laugh off her problems and say it was nothing because they didn't care that she wasn't super strong. She cared and she didn't want to put a plaster on this wound and make it better, she wanted the cold hard truth. What she was going to do with that truth she was unsure but right now she didn't want someone to say nice things and make it okay that she wasn't strong she wanted an honest opinion.

Loke carried on speaking, "I say no Princess because for you were never magically or physically trained. Your mother was a good woman and she was an excellent mage however she did not prepare you for the life of a mage the way Grays master Ul had day by day given him instruction as a child then left him to find his own path. Many of the mages in Fairy Tail had some sort of mentor who gave them some sort of training, the dragon slayers had their dragons, Mira had the Master and then she trained her siblings, Ezra had many different mages in the guild show her how to control her magic and how to fight, everyone had some sort of mentor, you however never had any however as a celestial mage you have come quite far on your own, you are able to maintain our gates for a long time and you know Urano Metria and have been successful in casting it. You own 10 of the Zodiac keys, all in all that makes you strong however like I said before you are untrained. If you are comparing yourself to your guild mates then yes Lucy you are much weaker."

Lucy wrapped her arms around her legs almost like a child, she wanted to disappear when he said it and everything he said was the absolute truth. She never had any sort of mentor, she just ran away to become a mage she was desperately trying to escape that suffocating mansion.

However before Lucy could continue her self loathing at her own weakness Loke asked her a surprising question, "Princess do you know why some mages see spirits as tools and treat them so horribly?"

Lucy rested her chin on her knees, "I never thought about it. It always just seemed so wrong that I never thought that there could be a reason for treating spirits like that. There is no excuse or reason for hurting spirits."

Loke chuckled, he knew that she would say something like that but there really was a reason for asking the question, "I know princess but I do have a reason for asking. Spirits are much like leeches when it comes to our Holders power. To open a zodiac gate takes the equivalent of one of Natsu's Dragon roars, but when that gate opens your magic continually drains. The longer we are here in this world the more power you use, whenever we use our magic its strength is based on how much power you hold, now if you were a castor mage, your magic power could have put you on the level of Laxus depending on what you learnt. A celestial mages power reseveres are much larger because you are continually expanding your magic."

Lucy was actually quite shocked, she never truly realized how much magic it took to maintain her gates. As a child when she was lonely she would summon Aquarius and for a while she could only hold her gate open for a few minutes but as time went on she would summon Aquarius nearly every day and soon she got used to being able to hold the gate open for so long so when it came time to use her spirits to fight she never actually felt the drain the way Loke explained and it was probably because she could hold Aquarius in this world for hours at a time as a child and Aquarius was not just a zodiac she was one of the most powerful zodiacs there was. She had unconsciously trained herself to hold much more power than she thought she did and Lucy felt pride in being able to do what many other celestial mages found difficult but in the face of her team mates much larger accomplishments it still felt like a very small victory.

Loke was proud when she realized that she had unconsciously trained herself but he also knew that Lucy would soon be going on a journey. Every mage faced this problem, there was a time when they believed that they were weak or stuck at some level and this was the time when they chose to throw in the towel or go off and find themselves and he knew that his Princess would not throw in the towel, she would journey on her own and to try and find herself and he knew that she would soar far above any other celestial mage that ever lived. He had faith in her and he would be beside her every step of the way, she was after all his mistress but more than that she was Lucy and he would follow her no matter where she went even if it meant death.

"You have only scratched the surface of your power Princess. There is so much more that our magic can do all you have to do is find it."

Loke disappeared back into the celestial world leaving Lucy with a whole new set of thoughts and many plans to make.

Two days later, Lucy finally went to the guild. She was still not used to tiny place but she felt at home when she saw Mira working the bar.

"Lucy would you like your regular?" asked Mira as soon as she saw Lucy.

Mira watched the younger girl carefully, she could see the dark spots under her eyes but it seemed like they were going away now. She looked like she was recovering from the flu but Mira saw that Lucy was recovering from whatever it was that sent her hurling over the edge.

Lucy smiled and shook her head, "Is my team here?" she asked.

Mira frowned, "Team Natsu went on a mission with Lisanna. They have been playing catch up ever since we got back and once Ezra told the boys to give you some space they decided to do a series of missions with her while they waited for you to come back. Didn't they tell you anything?"

Lucy shrugged, "Its possible they told me but I was so out of it that I never really paid much attention. I know that they wanted to talk with Lisanna but when she returned she spent so much time with you and Elfman and then we went for the S-class trials so quickly they never got the chance. I don't mind, I just wanted to tell them something but I can always tell them later."

Mira watched Lucy carefully, she didn't want Lucy thinking that Natsu and the others were trying to replace her or anything like that but Mira also knew that Lisanna was still crushing heavily on Natsu and would likely take this opportunity to get closer to him once again and while Mira hoped that things would work out for her little sister she couldn't help but think that maybe things wouldn't work out for Lucy and she thought of her as a little sister too. She didn't want either of them to get hurt so before Lucy could leave Mira grabbed her arm and pulled her into the storage room behind the bar so they could talk privately.

"Lucy I know that I've joked and laughed about this for a long time but I need to know something and this time its serious. Do you love Natsu?"

Lucy was about to laugh and then tell Mira that she loved him the way she loved all her nakama but Lucy could see that this was no longer about being a matchmaker, Mira really needed to know how she felt and Lucy could not just joke this off the way she usually did, Mira wanted a heart to heart and Lucy could not deny her not when she had the feeling that after Mira understood she would tell her something important as well.

"There was a time when I first came to Fairy Tail that I thought I would love him the way you mean. He was like this white knight wearing a scarf that brought me to this amazing family and saved me from my loneliness and then he stated sneaking into my bed and using me as a teddy bear and I crushed on him until I realized that it wasn't the love that I thought. Taking care of Natsu and Happy was like having a family but it wasn't the type of family where I was the mother and he was the father and Happy was the child. It was like I was the elder sister who provided warmth, food and comfort and he the little over protective brother who got into trouble a lot. I knew it wasn't the love you mean because I didn't desire Natsu. There was no lust or passion between us and it was then that I realized that while I loved Natsu, I wasn't in love with him and I know he doesn't love me like that. Actually I don't know if he even knows what that love even is."

Lucy giggled at the end and so did Mira but Lucy noticed that Mira was relived that she didn't love Natsu in that way.

"Lisanna is still in love with him." Mira said.

Lucy just smiled, "I could have told you that. I saw it in the way she looks at him. I can't say I know what will happen but if it doesn't work it won't be because of me. I actually hope that it does work and they are happy together."

Mira hugged Lucy and the two girls went their separate ways. Mira went back to the bar while Lucy went to talk to the Master. She knocked on the door and waited for him to call her inside.

"Lucy what can I do for you?" asked Master Makarov. He hoped nothing bad had happened to her. He knew that she was going through a tough time but she was strong and he hoped that nothing else was worrying her.

Lucy took a seat in front of him and smiled, "Don't worry Master nothing is wrong. I just had a few questions. Do you know where I can find more information on celestial magic?"

Master Makarov narrowed his eyes, he already had an idea to where this was leading, "Celestial magic has been boarding on lost magic for many decades now with only two or three mages every generation. Some chose not to pursue it because they did not believe it was very strong magic while others had no talent with it. Its not lost yet just rare. You can't just find books on it. You would probably get better results if you used your spirit the Southern Crux I believe its called. Lucy why do you want to know this now?"

Lucy smiled at him, "When I joined Fairy Tail I had little experience using my magic offensively. My mother retired from using magic when I was very young but she told me many stories about the guild she belonged to and of her adventures some included my father before his grief changed him. When she passed I began to dream of having adventures like that too and then I met Natsu and he brought me here. I got so caught up in with Team Natsu and jumping from disaster to disaster that I forgot my original goal. I wanted to explore the magic I shared with my mother. My fathers passing and a talk with Loke reminded me that I still have much to learn and I think its time I finally set out to learn. I want to go find myself Master, explore my magic even find new keys."

Master Makarov smiled at her. He had been right. There were many times when he had seen something like this when mages faced crossroads and needed time to themselves to explore who they are and who they are going to become. Lucy was not the first mage who set off on a journey of self discovery and she would not be the last but that did not mean that they would not miss her.

"I wish you all the luck in the world child. You can show your guild mark to our allies such as Blue Pegasus and Lamia Scale and they will allow you to take a job request from them if you find that you need the money. Be safe and come home as soon as you can. You family will miss you and if you ever need us, call, we will come."

Lucy actually cried and crushed the small man to her as she squished him to her breasts. The perverted old man had a look of glee on his face when she let him go, "I'm leaving now Master. I'll be back in a few months. Have fun telling my team I'm gone." And with that she rushed out.

Master Makarov went white when he processed her words. Her team were liable to destroy the whole of Fiore if they believed that she was in trouble, telling them that she was gone would be suicide to anyone who was not a wizard saint. The little minx did that on purpose he knew it. He cursed she really was a damned brat which meant that she fit in perfectly with the rest of the damn brats.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

 **This chapter is dedicated to Motherofdragons1227 and twztdwildcat. Thanks.**

Lucy rushed out of the guild and back to her apartment. Her father had paid for it in full for another three months and while she was glad that she wouldn't have to worry about rent for three months she knew she would be gone longer than that so Lucy pried up her floor boards under her bed for where she hid her money. Natsu didn't even know she hid her savings in there because her scent was so strong on her bed he couldn't tell there was a place under the floorboards. She opened the box and inside it was her savings, everything she had managed to scrape together after months of Team Natsu destroying everything they touched. She lived on a tight budget but every chance she got she managed to save a few jewels here and there for a rainy day. It was years worth of savings and it was 350,000 jewel. Lucy went to her landlady and gave her enough money to cover another 4 months that ensured she would have at least 7 months to return home. She was left with 70,000 jewel and while she could have paid another months rent, she would likely need the money for her expenses when she left. Lucy packed light, only taking a single bag and leaving a note on her table for her team. She brushed her hands over her keys and felt their approval and smiled. It was time.

Lucy took the train as far as it would go and found herself in Cedar. She decided that she would spend the night there before travelling on foot towards the forest. In her little room in the crappy in that she booked into she summoned Grandpa Crux, "Where can I get more information on celestial magic?" she asked him.

Unfortunately there was nothing he could do to help her. Celestial magic was not recorded the way normal magic was recorded. The only way she would advance and explore the magic would be if she trained and advanced herself. There were books but he had no idea where those books were anymore. In the seven years that they had been gone celestial magic had become even rarer and he was unsure of what happened to the few books that had been created.

Lucy sighed in disappointment, this was going to be harder than she thought, it seemed like she was never going to find any sort of instruction. The next day she travelled into the forest. She found a beautiful clearing with a waterfall where she had Virgo set up camp. Lucy summoned Capricorn and he excitedly had her begin meditation. All of her spirits were eager for Lucy to begin training. Once she was done with her morning meditation, she would summon Loke to spar with her. Loke took this very seriously and the first thing he did was set her up on a balancing beam and blindfold her.

"You need to learn to be more aware of your surroundings. The meditation helps you to focus and feel your magic energy and with time you will begin to sense magic but physically you need to be aware as well. The purpose of this exercise is to feel my attacks coming. The hits that land will sting for a little while but after a soak you'll be fine but if you want to avoid the pain, don't get hit."

Loke and Lucy would spend hours on the balancing beam with her blindfolded. He would jump over head and touch her back, thighs, arms, stomach and chest. Loke was the lion and he could move like a freaking cat on the balancing beam and he was true to is word. Loke didn't hold back. The first two days she had been covered from head to toe in bruises because she was unable to sense his movements but she soon began to understand what he wanted her to do. Loke wanted her to sense the shift in the air when he was poised to attack, he wanted her to hear his rustling of his clothes the sound of his feet landing when he jumped and soon she started to avoid the attacks but then came the other problem she would fall of the beam when she moved to doge him and so she was forced not to doge but block his attacks. It took her a week before she was able to hold her ground for more than 15 minutes and then Capricorn advanced her magical training.

Lucy was to open more than one gate at a time, with the meditation that she had done she could feel her magical reserves expand but she was still unsure about opening two gates at the same. She called both Aries and Loke and for the first time she could feel the drain that Loke spoke about when he told her about regular mages. She was able to keep both gates open for 5 minutes before giving in and releasing them but Capricorn nodded approvingly.

"Opening two gates could probably save you from death even if you cannot maintain it for long. We will work on stamina as well and trying to keep them out for longer periods of time."

Another week passed and Lucy now held in her hands twin daggers. The blades looked like the night sky, it was given to her as a gift from Virgo who had given her, her first weapon the whip. Lucy was able to use the whip well for long distance but once an enemy got in close she was almost defenseless. She had taken to strapping the daggers on her thighs for easy access.

Loke was proud of Lucy. For someone who had been a complete novice at martial arts Lucy was progressing well. It helped that Lucy knew battle and she had picked up a few tips from her friends but this was proper instruction and practice can only take you so far if you don't know what you're actually doing. She was also an exceptionally bright student and she was a fast learner but then again she was also stubborn and she was not afraid of hard work. Lucy trained hard all day every day, she was almost constantly covered in bruises but she never complained or asked him to slow down. She trusted him to work her to the best of his ability so he refused to let her down. He would work her hard and Lucy never backed down, every time she fell and every bruise she got, she got back up, adjusted her blindfold and tried again.

Lucy was taking a soak in the waterfall. Virgo had gone out of her way to make the campsite as comfortable as humanly possible but then again she might just have been bored. Lucy had taken to calling out Virgo and Aries trying to keep both gates open for longer periods of time, every day she lasted a little longer however Capricorn once told her that she should time how long she could keep a gate open before she felt the drain so she would have an idea of the difference between holding open two gates.

Lucy had summoned Virgo and the spirit was heartbroken when there was nothing for her to do so instead Lucy told her to use her magic as she wanted to do whatever she wanted so Virgo transformed the campsite. She cut the grass, fetched another tent from the spirit world, this one much larger, got a cot for the tent, created a proper fire pit, stocked up on healing herbs from the spirit world and then she got sun stones from the spiritual world and created a hot tub in the waterfall. All Lucy had to do was move a rock to let the water drain everyday and she had a fricken hot bath everyday. Food and drinking water was provided for by Virgo via the spirit world.

Lucy had to admit this place was pretty freaking perfect but it was lonely. Her spirits kept her busy but two weeks had passed and she already missed her family. Lucy bit her lip as much as she missed them she couldn't go back just yet. She still had so much work to do.

Lucy suddenly looked towards the edge of her campsite. She could hear heavy footsteps which meant that there were a lot of people running towards her. Lucy grabbed her robe, once more given to her by Virgo. It was baby pink and since it was sheer material, it was mostly see through but Lucy hardly noticed. She tied the tie and grabbed her daggers as several men ran into the clearing.

The large fat one licked his lips, "Well, well what do we have here boys?"

Lucy narrowed her eyes when a beam of yellow light, hit at least 7 seven of the men and left them unconscious. The fat man leering at her stopped leering and looked in shock before shouting, "He's still chasing us."

There was a reply from other guy somewhere near the fat man, "He should be dead already. Master got him good."

Another beam of light and the fat man was the only one left so he lunged for her and held some sort of sword to her neck and Lucy growled an honest to God growl like the one Natsu makes if someone tries to take his food. She was not some freaking damsel in distress and she absolutely hated the fact that he had just taken her hostage.

Jellal had been careless and he was caught while surveying the dark guild forcing him to confront them without his team which led to this disaster. Some of the weaker members managed to get away while he fought the master and the bastard got a lucky hit to his gut and he was currently bleeding quite badly with no help in sight but he couldn't let them get away so he chased after them and then he saw the blonde.

It was obvious that they had stumbled upon her campsite and she was probably taking a bath of some sort. She was wearing a pink see through robe and he could see every inch of her and well if he was going to die then he was dying a happy man because that was probably the best damned sight he had seen in a long time. He saw her eyes widen when she saw him and a thought flashed by that she was familiar when she growled and fuck him if it wasn't the sexiest thing he ever heard but he was just about to save her, when she twirled in the mans arm, jammed her elbow into his gut and then round house kicked him in the head knocking him unconscious.

"Do not touch me you piece of filth. I just took a bath." She muttered.

Lucy stared at Jellal. She had not seen him since he had been taken away by the rune knights and now here he was near death it looked like from the look of the amount of blood on his clothes. Lucy ran to him and helped him further into her camp. She laid him next to fire and then went in search of medical supplies. Once she had tended to him, she tied up the guys that were passed out around her campsite. Better have them on leash rather than free to move around and kill them in their sleep.

The next morning Jellal woke up in a campsite with the blonde. This time she was wearing a mini skirt and a tube top. Didn't she own any clothes that covered her?

"I'm Lucy Heartfilia from Fairy Tail. We met briefly just before you were taken away."

Jellal remembered her now, she was one of Ezra's friends.

"Thank you for helping me." He told her. Then he looked around and found that she was all alone and raised an eyebrow in question, "I'm alone here. I'm a celestial mage but I never really had any training. I'm trying to learn more about my magic by training it. I'll go back to the guild when I'm done. What's your story?"

Jellal realizing that she meant how come he was free explained about his guild that he created with Ultear and Meredy to take down dark guilds and try to repent.

Lucy smiled softly, "It wasn't your fault. None of you would have made those decisions if you had all the facts however guilt is not something that can easily be cast away and if you feel as if you need a reason to keep going then I'm happy you found something to devote yourself too."

Jellal found himself in awe of her forgiving nature. He also couldn't help but think that maybe she was wrong, "Devoting myself to doing something good won't change all the bad I've done."

Lucy rolled her eyes, "You cannot change your past and you cannot hold yourself accountable for the actions of others. While it is true that nothing will erase your mistakes you cannot just roll over and die."

Jellal was looking up at the clouds in the sky while listening to her, it was so peaceful here, "Should I not die for my crimes? Is my life worth anything after all the suffering I have caused?" he wondered out loud.

"Death would be too good for you. It would release you from this pain and suffering and overwhelming guilt and since you believe that you deserve to suffer so your punishment is to live. A part of you did die in that tower, the part that had been consumed by insanity and hatred now all that is left is your humanity."

Jellal looked at her in surprise. He did not know why the hell he said what he did but he said it and instead of giving him some sappy story of how he needed to forgive himself she told him that living was to be his punishment something that he often thought was true.

Lucy noticed the look of shock on his face and she gave him a bittersweet smile and said, "I could have told you to forgive yourself but sometimes that isn't what you need to hear. You went to jail because you wanted to be punished for your sins and Ultear and Meredy broke you out and now you feel as if you are living a life just for the sake of living. You carry a burden of guilt for everything that you did wrong and you still want to be punished. Telling you to forgive yourself is hopeless because you can't save someone that does not want to be saved."

Jellal almost smiled at her because she understood. He did not want someone to tell him it wasn't his fault and say he deserved to live because he knew differently. It was too tiring listening to Ultear and Meredy try to take responsibility for what he had done and whether he was insane or not he remembered what he had done and the worst part was that he remembered liking it and now he didn't know what to feel. He remembered being a monster and as far as he knew monsters did not deserve to live.

"I'm glad you created this guild though. I've heard the rumours since we all returned about how the guild had crushed many dark guilds and while the lives that you saved will not bring back the ones that you had taken, I'm glad you used your power to protect people. Living is a sign of strength Jellal, we are human, we stumble and fall and make mistakes but our ability to own up to those mistakes and try to correct them is something that separates us from those who wish to walk the path of darkness. Live, suffer; stumble, fall and one day I hope you find it in yourself to forgive yourself. You were a child and you got lost but now you have finally found your way home."

Jellal smiled at her and the two shared a moment of peace together, for some reason he had a feeling that she understood him far more than he thought.

Lucy on the other could understand where he was coming from. Much like how she wanted Loke to tell her the truth about her weakness Jellal did not want someone to say forget about it because you were controlled. Her weakness when it came to magic and Jellal's past, were all things that neither of them wanted sugarcoated nor did they want pity all they wanted was someone who was honest about it.

Jellal fell into a peaceful sleep while Lucy went back to her meditation. Her patient would need at least a days rest before he could leave and the thugs that she had tied up were not going anywhere anytime soon so she decided to continue her training until he was ready to tell her what to do with them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

 **Review and tell me what you think or if you have any questions…. No flames.**

Jellal woke up with the sun setting and a hungry stomach. He could smell something tasty and when he opened his eyes, he saw Lucy covered in bruises eating a sandwich. She noticed him awake and passed him the plate so he could eat too. They finished their meal in silence and then she pointed to the waterfall. He noticed that there was a circle of rocks and it seemed like she had created a bath tub in the waterfall.

"You can take a bath in there and I'll get you some clothes."

Jellal smiled in relief, he could feel the dry blood on him and he was pretty sure he smelled of sweat and blood and bath sounded like heaven.

Lucy turned away from the waterfall blushing slightly when she caught a glimpse of his muscular back as he stripped out of his torn shirt. She then fled into the forest as fast as she could. There were several berry bushes which Virgo had found and told her that were not poisonous so while he bathed she was going to pick berries and try to get the image of perfect abs out of her head.

Lucy nearly wanted to hit herself. She had seen plenty of handsome men in her life. Hell Gray would walk around practically naked and he was built, she had seen Natsu shirtless as well as Laxus, Gajeel and several other members in the guild. It wasn't anyones fault that clothes often got torn or burned off and at some point she had seen nearly everyone naked but bloody hell why was she getting so flustered over him. She did muse that this was the first time she had actually seen him. She didn't think she saw him at the tower of Heaven and she did not fight with him during the Oracion Seis incident. She had known that was he around but she only met up with him just before he could go to jail. Lucy bit her lip, she was probably reacting like a love struck girl because he was practically a stranger. She did not know him well and he was handsome. Lucy actually did slap herself at that time. If Ezra heard her now, she was sure she would kill her. Lucy assumed that Ezra had a crush on him and the two had a lot of history. Her thoughts turned back to him and why he did not ask for Ezra or even if she was alright.

Jellal dried himself on the blue towel that was left near him and then found that he even had new clothes. He wore black pants, combat boots and a shirt. He even had a new cape. Lucy had told him that her spirit would bring all this stuff for him and he knew that he would have to thank the girl. Then he noticed the tied up members from the dark guild he had been chasing and laughed.

Lucy came back with a basket full of berries, hearing his laughter and it sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. It was a deep laugh full of mirth something that she never thought she would hear from him. Lucy turned to see what made him laugh so much and then she giggled as well.

"What else was I supposed to do with them?" she giggled.

Jellal laughed, "Thanks. I'll take them back into town and leave them with the mayor. He can call the rune knights."

Lucy bit her lip, "I'll come with you. I haven't been back to town for two weeks and if they give you any trouble I can help you get away."

Once they reached town, it was getting dark and the streets were full of drunk men all of which leered towards Lucy. The girl however seemed lost in thought and did not pay them any heed. The two made their way to the mayor and Lucy did all the talking. The man insisted on giving her the reward and when he turned towards him, Lucy broke in and told him that her partner was shy and then thanked him and left.

Jellal told her he would walk her back and then he would need to go back to Ultear and Meredy. This time, Lucy was aware of the stares she was getting and moved closer to him when they came to close. Jellal got annoyed at the men trying to get close to the blonde and let his magic free, scaring everyone who was approaching.

"Why do you dress like that if you don't like it when people stare?"

Lucy hummed and replied, "It's a long story."

"We've got time." He replied.

Lucy was stunned, she hadn't really expected him to insist but since he did she started the story, "Before we lost the seven years and before I joined the guild I was the Heartfilia heiress. We were a family that built our wealth by creating railways and we were probably as rich as the royal family. When my mother died, my father retreated into his work and I was terribly lonely. I tried to be perfect thinking that if he saw how well I was doing he would praise me or something. There were so many rules and many of them were absolutely ridiculous. Don't smile to wide, its not lady like. Don't laugh too loud. A lady doesn't run. Then there were rules for dressing. Not a single piece of skin could be seen ever. The gown I was to wear was to come to my wrists, my hands to be covered by gloves; my dress was to stop exactly half an inch above my boots. My cleavage covered even my neck was to be adorned by a lace chocker. Don't even get me started on the corset. It was tight, my breasts suffocated and it stopped me from slouching. I dressed that way from the time I was 13, and every day I was suffocating in that place. Nothing was real when it came to money. Everything was about money and greed, there was nothing real, no emotions just people treating other people like chess pieces to advance themselves. Then I turned 17 and my father wanted to arrange a marriage and I remember that so clearly. There was this big ballroom and everyone was dancing and all I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears and I couldn't breathe anymore. It was like I was screaming and no one could hear me so I ran. The next day I was gone, I ran away from the mansion."

Jellal was shocked. He didn't realize that Lucy had been related to that family. Everything she described though it sounded horrible but she still hadn't answered his question, "What happened after that?"

Lucy was pulled out of her memories and replied, "I wore that ridiculous dress in a town slightly smaller than this one and everywhere I turned people stared and I realized that they knew I wasn't supposed to be there and if I didn't blend in then I would be dragged to my father kicking and screaming so I dashed into a store and bought the first thing my hands touched, then I changed and I was horrified at what I chose. A pair of tiny shorts and a tube top. I still put it all on and then I went out for a walk in the park and for the first time in years, I felt the sun on skin and wind and I could breathe. I sat under a tree in the sun just enjoying the feeling of wind and sun on my skin. I dressed like this ever since."

Jellal smiled at the story. She was strong. She turned her back on everything she ever knew for a life so much harder. Many woman would have tried harder to find something that was worthwhile in the life of luxury, maybe more clothes or jewels but she ran away from the only life she had ever known for a life of blood sweat and tears.

"You should dress however you want but if it makes you uncomfortable then there had to be some sort of style that lets you feel free but also doesn't draw too much attention. How many keys do you have?"

Lucy was shocked at the sudden turn of questions, "10 keys. I don't have Libra or Pisces."

Jellal thought if over, even worried his lip a little, he didn't know why but he wanted to help her, "I could train you for a little while. Our magic is very similar and I have studied celestial magic."

Lucy felt her jaw drop, here was a wizard saint asking if she wanted to train with him, "You studied celestial magic?" she was supposed to agree to train with him, why the hell did she ask him that?

Jellal chuckled at her expression, it seemed she surprised herself just as much as he had was when she asked that question, "When I started to learn Heavenly body magic from Brain he told me it was closely related to celestial magic however learning that type of magic would take me much longer. I was in a hurry to learn, I had no patience for making contracts and such but I grew more curious about it as time passed. During my training I dedicated myself to learning but once I had mastered my magic, I grew curious once again and when I had the time I started to research the magic. I'll give you your first exercise now, tonight I want you to think of each of your spirits and tell me of their magic and how you use their magic. I also want you to explain how you use your magic. Once I understand how you use your magic I'll tell you of what I know."

Virgo had put out another tent for him so he went straight to bed while Lucy stayed up well into the night writing and trying to explain how she viewed her magic and how she used it. Lucy also realized that this was the first time she actually sat down and thought of how she used her magic and the types of magic her spirits used.

Jellal woke up at the break of dawn, he decided that he would spend the day exchanging information with her, give her a few exercises then return to Merdy and Ultear. He couldn't stay away for much longer without the two women worrying for him but he also desperately wanted to see exactly how far he would be able to push her. He admitted that she was physically attractive and she seemed to be a very complex person. On the first glance she seemed to be a naïve, cheerful girl. She obviously had a lot of compassion and kindness qualities while not uncommon in women there was no reason to be drawn to her the way he was but she also seemed to be very understanding. Then there was their conversation about his guilt at the past. He did not expect her to understand him on such a deep level something that no one else had ever tried to do or even when they tried they could not fully understand.

Then was her determination to get strong. She already had a vast amount of magic power but it seemed that she didn't even realize much she had or how far she could actually go if trained properly. Celestial magic had been something that had deep curiosity for not only because it was similar to his own magic but because of the endless possibilities and now he had a chance to fully explore this magic. He just could not pass up the opportunity especially because this was the only chance he would get but also because this magic was the only thing that he remembered that he never tainted. In his insane ways, when he researched this magic he never used it to harm anyone nor did he use it for his own purposes it was one memory that he had that was free of pain and suffering. He could honestly say that the only good thing he did when he was lost in the darkness was that he did not hunt down celestial mages nor did he interfere with their magic. It was the only peace he found in his demon infested mind, a quiet corner dedicated to celestial magic.

He hoped Ultear and Meredy would not mind him staying with Lucy for a little while, but then again they had been working hard these last few months, a few weeks where they separated for a while and got some rest would do them some good especially since all three of them being together attracted a lot of attention, maybe they could use the time to lie low and gather information if his memory served him right then the Grand Magic Games would be held in about 6 and a half months and there was always dark energy surrounding that event.

He looked at Lucy maybe if he helped her then she would help them with tracking the source but for now he had about 6 and a half months to see if everything he read was true especially with the amount of magic she kept in her body was true, he could push her as far as possible and enjoy every second of it. He watched her train with the Lion spirit. He was sure that if he showed her he was serious about training her then she would not complain when he pushed her hard.

 **The guild**

Lucy had only been gone for three days when Team Natsu plus Lisanna had returned and when Natsu had kicked open the door calling out their return, the master left his paperwork, a part of him glad to be away from the paperwork but the more dominate part wondering exactly how much damage they would bring before he could get them to heel. It was not exactly uncommon for Team Natsu to be protective over their blonde but he also knew it was more than that. She was the glue that held them all together, she brought them together and she took care of them, Lucy was their light and if anyone dared to harm their light none of them had any problems completely crushing whatever stood in their way and for her to be gone without any protection, it was going to be a long, painful journey until the girl returned.

"Hey Mira, did Lucy come to the guild? We told her we were going, we asked her to come but she wouldn't leave her room. Is she feeling better yet?"

Mira had noticed that Lucy stopped coming to the guild but she thought that she went on a mission but she should have been back by now. Lucy usually only went on solo requests that would take a day or two max.

"She came in three days ago. She spoke with Master and me but she never came back. I thought she took a mission but there isn't anything in the book."

Gray immediately tensed, did she hear that they took Lisanna and thought they were going to replace her? He also dismissed the thought, Lucy knew better than to think like that.

Makarov saw their expressions and decided to get it over with before all hell broke loose so he shouted out, "Listen up brats. Lucy won't be around for a few months."

Before he could finish talking there was a loud shout of WHAT from team Natsu followed by Natsu losing his shit and shouting, "Where is she? Where's my Nee-chan? She can't leave me too."

Makarov let his giant fist pummel him into the ground before he could start tracking her scent, "Lucy has decided to further her knowledge of her magic. This is a journey every mage takes at least once in their life. Lucy will be back in a few months Natsu. She simply wanted to train on her own with her spirits help. She never had any formal training of her magic and has found that her lack of knowledge is unacceptable. When she returns she will be stronger, all we have to do is be patient and if she needs help she will call us."

Natsu immediately placed his head in Lisanna's lap and started to cuddle her and Happy grumbling about kin not supposed to be so far away. Gray was just about to leave when he pulled him and Ezra into a puppy pile and started to cuddle them all.

Gray turned red and tried to push him off, "What the bloody hell flame brain?"

Natsu didn't answer with words, he growled like a freaking dog and nipped Grays ear as punishment. Gray was so surprised he stopped moving and watched his friend be absolutely weird not knowing what the hell to do until he heard Wendy giggle.

"He is reassuring that his kin is near, without Lucy Natsu-san is going to be very touchy with you all and also very protective."

Ezra unsure with what to do with the pink haired boy in her lap looked helplessly at Wendy and asked, "Kin? What's going on?"

Wendy started to pet Carla, "Dragon slayers take on characteristics of dragons. When we choose a mate, we bite them to claim them, it a much deeper bond than just marriage, however we also do something called nesting. We create a family and we mark our family with our scents. One day when I find my mate, I'll claim my kin as well. Gajeel will claim kin once he stops resisting and starts the mating ceremony with Levy-san."

Levy on the other hand flushed bright red at the way Wendy so casually declared that she was supposedly Gajeel's mate and thanked Mavis Gajeel wasn't in the guild.

Master Makarov listened very intently to the little girl and then started asking his own questions, "Mating ceremony? Why do you say when you find a mate you claim kin?"

Wendy was blushing horribly throughout the discussion, "Like how two normal people start to date and then get engaged and then married, it's a process and it takes time. For dragon slayers, when we choose a mate we do it the way normal people do, we meet people, like them and want to develop the relationship but instead of just normal dates we start to scent mark them, they start to smell like us so other dragon slayers know that these people are off limits and once the person is ready to become a mate which is the equivalent of a wife or husband, they bite them which creates a mental bond and its our version of married.

We only start to build the rest of the family once a mate is chosen. The nest mates will fight to the death for hatchlings that's why we prepare only when the mate is chosen. Natsu-san was always knew that Lisanna-san was going to be his mate so when he found Lucy-san he found the last member of his nest and when Lisanna-san returned he started strengthening the bonds of the nest mates. Lucy-san was to Natsu-san the elder sister or mother like figure because of her caring nurturing attitude. She took care of everyone, feeding them, caring for them, seeing to their injuries, giving advice all of it. Ezra-san is the young sister and guardian. She would fight and challenge him but also care for him. Ezra-san was not as easily approachable as Lucy-san that's why she is younger sister, she's also a warrior. Gray-san is the calm of the nest, big brother or father like figure. He would fight Natsu, put him in his place, give advice and support the elder sister. Gray and Lucy-san work well together because they both think a like and are able to support each other without Lucy here Natsu will keep his nest mates close and constantly reapply his scent. He will be possessive and territorial and he will need constant physical reassurance that you are all okay.

Try to make sure that no other dragon slayers scents are on you. It won't be pleasant and try to stick together as much as possible. Natsu will also know if Lucy is in danger and that would be and because he will likely tear through everything and anyone in his way until she returns to him. Its not a good idea to just separate a nest mate without prior warning especially since Natsu-san has not completed the process."

The guild then spent a lot more time questioning Wendy on nest mates and everything else she could tell them about Natsu's weird behaviour while Natsu had created a puppy pile with his nest mates and every time someone tried to move him, he would growl and bite them. Eventually they all gave up and took a nap hoping that he would let them up later while Gray cursed the day he met the idiot


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **AN: I'm hoping to get Lucy to return to the guild within the next chapter or maybe the next two chapters not sure but I want to show development in the relationship and I want to show a little bit about what Jellal is going teach her.**

 **I started university again so my updates will be slow. I have not abandoned this story. I have the next chapter already written.**

Once Lucy and Jellal finished their breakfast they both sat across from each other and he was waiting for her to speak.

Lucy blushed at his intense gaze and then mentally slapped herself, "I'm not sure what you want me to tell you." She admitted.

Jellal decided to ask her some questions, realizing that she was unsure of what he wanted to know so he asked, "How do your contracts work?"

Lucy shrugged, "The same way all contracts work. If I die, release them or am imprisoned then the contract is broken."

Jellal shook his head, "You are not taking into account your spirits feelings. From what I know if the bond between your spirit and Mistress is strong then the contract doesn't matter at least not anymore. The more trust you have between your spirits the more they will do for you."

Lucy bit her lip, she knew that what he said was true, "Loke and Virgo can open their gates themselves and come through and none of my zodiac spirits abide the day of summons anymore. They trust me not to abuse them so I am free to call upon them whenever I wish."

Jellal smiled and said, "Now that's what I mean. Can you summon your spirits without their keys? I know that if the distance is too great then you cannot as the spirit must appear in the same place as their key but if I took your keys in the middle of battle and your could see your keys can you open the gate without physical contact?"

Lucy shook her head, "I've never heard of it."

Jellal half smiled at her, "Don't think about other mages. As celestial mages began to treat their spirits as tools the spirits in return stopped caring for the owners only doing the bare minimum and abiding by their contract to the T. You care for your spirits and treat them as your friends in return they hold you in high regard and go above and beyond to ensure your safety. Now while all spirits can talk to their mages through their keys most don't bother unless they are called. Your spirits can do this for you. If you focus on the energy in the keys it is possible to summon them to your side. You would have to at least be able to see your keys to do it though. That's the first thing you are gonna try to do but not now. What do you know of your spirits power?"

Lucy was shocked to realize that she never realized that her powerful bond between her spirits would make her stronger and then she felt like a fool because Fairy Tail mantra was that your friends were your strength. She felt foolish for not realizing it sooner. All this time she spent on trying to make herself stronger and she already over looked her most important aspect of herself. She loved her spirits and they loved her in return.

"Aquarius is my strongest spirit and is known as the ruler of the seas. She uses water magic." Said Lucy.

"What else can she do with her magic?"

Lucy furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"

Jellal looked up to the sky, "The stars and the zodiacs were never meant to represent one thing Lucy. They were universal and always had different meanings, different appearances. You are using your spirits basic magic, like I said before spirits only do the bare minimum unless you prove yourself worthy of their more complex magic. It is also another reason I did not learn celestial magic. The darkness that I carried within me would not allow me to become a great celestial mage as I did not care for others. I would have treated them as tools as such they would not have trusted me. Heavenly body magic only relied on me and I did not trust anyone else. You and your spirits share a strong bond and the proof of that is shown when they are willing to force open their gates to ensure your protection.

Water is her domain and it can be used as a physical attack. Aquarius uses this as her basic magic as it is easily summoned through the urn she carries however there are other meanings to water and deeper meanings to being the ruler of the seas. Water represents the passage time in some cultures, the same water cannot be touched twice as the same can be said for time, it represents healing and to a certain extent you can learn to use it to heal.

You were working on summoning two gates. I want you to ask your lion about star dress and see if you can use it. We can spend time discussing the more in depth stories about the zodiacs and the stars but for now work with what I told you."

Lucy looked up at him startled, "We have a long time to train, work on everything I told you about and I'll be back in a few days. I need to let my team know I'm not dead."

Lucy chuckled at his dry response to her question about where he was going. Her mind was already racing at the thoughts of the other stories about the stars her mother would tell her about, she also was eager to hear about the star dress. There was so much that she could learn from him in fact she already had so much more to think about from just this one conversation.

"You are doing well with your meditation. When I return we can spar hopefully by then you will be able to use star dress. It is a technique that allows you to use the same powers as your spirits. In the past the Celestial king had to bestow the power onto you however your spirits can deem you worthy of using their powers and allowing you to wear it."

Lucy went back to her training and while it was difficult and using the star dress ate up her magic power she kept at it for days until Jellal returned. When he came he brought both Ultear and Meredy. The two girls just wanted to know where he was going to be if they needed to find him and both decided to go their own ways for a few weeks. Ultear wanted to do some research while Meredy wanted to rest. Both woman were tired of being on the run and agreed with Jellal that some time a part would do them all some good especially since the rune knights had figured out that they were travelling together. They had been very careful about not letting anyone know that they were in league with each other and it was fun to confuse the rune knights but eventually they figured out that they were working together and it was getting harder to avoid them. Some time apart would allow their trails to go cold and buy them time.

Lucy found herself making friends with the two women. While she had not been the one to fight either of them she knew both were extremely powerful and while watching Lucy practice, Ultear offered to open her second origin after explaining what it was. She stuck around for a few days to show her how to exercise both containers but told her to keep her second origin closed until she finally ran down her energy of her first container, when an enemy attacked it was possible that they would nullify her magic and expect her to go down however if she released her second origin at the last minute she would be back at full power allowing her to fight for double the amount of time.

Lucy summoned Aquarius to try to use her star dress but the irritable mermaid nearly drowned her until she opened Scorpio's gate as well and told the terrifying mermaid that as long as she helped with her training she and her boyfriend could go on a date in the human world, where time passed much slower giving them much more time to spend together. This delighted the spirit and then turned to helping her. Lucy nearly kicked herself for not buttering up the spirit more in the past.

Lucy found both women to be fun to be around and it seemed like they both carried much guilt as well. Lucy tried assuring them that it wasn't their fault and that as long as they were willing to do what was right over what was easy everything would eventually be alright while neither woman wanted pity for their past Lucy just attempted to treat them as normally as possible.

The two women did not stay long and ended up leaving after a few days with promises to return here when they were ready or when they had any new information. Lucy spent a lot of time familiarizing herself with her keys energy and connecting with them mentally so that she would be able to summon them without physical contact with her keys. When she was successful Lucy knew that once again Jellal was right and she would have to be within sight of her keys, any further and the gate could not open.

The next thing that Jellal taught her was the ability to fly. He was able to mimic the speed of a meteor and send out high powered beams of energy however Lucy was able to borrow her spirits powers and Gemini could levitate in the air. If she concentrated on their key she could use their ability however she could not transform herself into someone else. Lucy had a close bond with Loke even though Aquarius was her first spirit which belonged to her mother, Loke had been the first spirit which had sworn loyalty for her because he found her to be a worthy celestial mage and as such she was easily able to use his Regulus powers in a physical fight. Aquarius would always be special as that was her first key but Loke was a different kind of special. She had saved him and he found her worthy. He was the first spirit that chose her as a worthy celestial mage not because of her bloodline or because of her mother but he had found her worthy. It was her first achievement as a celestial mage.

When she used her star dress Leo her power just increased and it seemed that the closer her bond with her spirit the easier it was for her to use their powers. Lucy perfected the spell Urano Metria and then began to learn the deeper powers connected to her spirits.

"The zodiac signs are made to represent the universe in which they all have some sort of control over an element. While some spirits are more obvious about their elements some share more than one. They aren't like dragon slayers, who master one type of element. Aries would be your most powerful defense spirit while Aquarius and Loke would be your most powerful offence."

Jellal would spend much time going through the history of the zodiacs and their legends explaining how they were able to use a little of those powers as well.

Lucy ended up with a new style not because there was anything wrong with her previous dressing but because she had felt like she had matured from wearing mini skirts besides dressing like that people tended not to take her seriously and she did feel uncomfortable when she was out alone. As much as those types of clothes had given her a sense of freedom it just didn't suit who she was growing into. A part of her mourned the death of her style but she also realized that the reason she needed them was no longer there. She was no longer Lucky Lucy but Lucy of Fairy Tail and she went of this journey to find herself and with Jellal's help she had found her freedom.

Then the day came when Lucy created her own celestial spell and when the next morning came and she had a golden tattoo over her eye. It was similar to red one on Jellal's eye however her's was made up of the constellations of all the keys she had and the basic shape of the golden tattoo was a five pointed star. Loke told her it was a blessing from the Celestial King something that no other celestial mage had ever done. Lucy wore the mark pride knowing that she had finally accomplished something on her own without the help of her fathers name or her team, this was a symbol of her training, a physical reminder that she had grown as a mage.

"Where did you get your tattoo from Jellal?" Lucy had been in a trance and tracing the tattoo for hours before she remembered that there was an amused Jellal waiting to spar with her.

It had been four months since he had started training her and he was torn between pride and awe when it came to the blonde mage, "It isn't actually a tattoo. It's a birthmark."

Lucys jaw dropped. She had been so sure that it was a tattoo or some sort of symbol.

"Why did you stick around and train me? You didn't even know me." Lucy asked.

Jellal sat down next to her, "Many reasons actually, first because I was fascinated by celestial magic and this was my chance to finally see it and explore it, secondly because I didn't want to leave you out here all alone, thirdly I really did need a break. Ultear and Meredy are amazing but you did not pity me or anything. I wanted to be normal for a little while also I need your help for the grand magic games."

Lucy had to admit living in this place for four months with just him had driven her up the wall. Usually she would be so tired by the end of the day she would fall asleep nearly instantly but there were some days when they would sit and stare up at the sky and just talk whether it was about her zodiacs her team or life in general. They spoke about everything even his time as a slave in the tower of heaven and Lucy found him to be kind, caring and smart. She had always seen herself with someone smart and witty. She wanted someone she could debate and discuss things with and that was one of the reasons that she knew that she and Natsu would never work out because as sweet as he was, the poor boy was not much of a thinker. He was all action and while it was endearing it sometimes drove her crazy.

Jellal was patient and kind. He was sarcastic and witty. He treated her like a woman not a girl. They spoke of her life as an heiress and as she described the silence and coldness of the mansion he once told her he understood why she left. All the money in the world and there was only emptiness. She loved her father and she spoke of his death which had been a major reason as why she had taken this journey. Jellal confided in her that he did not remember his parents. He thought he remembered them when he was in the tower of heaven but even though his memories had returned his life before the tower was lost to him. He was unsure of where he had even been taken from. He did not know if it was a side effect from the possession or if he had not completely remembered after he had been taken but he had no idea about his family or if he had any but he told her that he did not think so, when they captured children they killed the parents so he assumed that his parents were dead as well.

Lucy had been extremely lonely and as the weeks passed she couldn't help but thank Jellal for staying with her because even with her spirits she had grown used to the loudness of the guild and after staying in that suffocating mansion where there was only silence she wanted to hear more than her own voice.

Jellal was the perfect type of person Lucy thought she would on day fall in love with. He never made her feel bad for not being a powerhouse from the start and he respected her ideas and thoughts. He was also extremely strong and kind. He was more than able to protect her but he was also the type of person to let her walk her own path and silently cheer her on without needing to do more or try to protect and coddle her. Jellal believed that she could handle herself and would not step in unless he needed too. He did not act as a protector but rather a partner who was equal to her. Lucy could see the kindness that Ezra used to speak off and every time she thought of the red head Lucy felt guilty. He had not asked about her once and she had not offered anything and now she was crushing on him. She was an awful friend and she was sure that there was some sort of girl code that explained that what she was doing was completely wrong.

Jellal had no idea when he had become so close to the blonde mage but he had. There was something about her that drew him in and soothed his broken mind. Jellal may be okay now but the truth was that he had been possessed for many years. A possession of that strength it leaves scars. It may have been wiped out but getting his memories back , it was like a little devil on his shoulder telling him to stop trying so hard and just let himself fall back into dark but then came Lucy and she was like this bright soothing light that washed away the darkness. No one had ever been able to do that. He never felt this much peace not even when he was near Ezra. She was special, she was a warrior, and she thought she was in love with him but he could never just allow himself to love her. He would always feel unworthy of her. Hell, sometimes he felt unworthy of Lucy but she never expected him to be more than what he truly was. She accepted him and he knew that Ezra would never be able to find it in herself to accept him completely.

Lucy was witty, sarcastic and clever. She gave as good as she got whenever they argued about whatever silly topic they were arguing about. She was beautiful and powerful and being with her was like being at peace. Whenever he was with her there was peace and he did not want to lose it and he did not want to let her go. It was extremely selfish especially since he was a wanted criminal and she was a part of a guild but he wanted her and he had never felt a desire like this before. He never wanted someone so badly that they would make his blood burn and by God did she ever. She was like a puzzle piece that had everything he had been looking for and he was going to hell because he did not want to let her go. He also felt extremely guilty. He always told Ultear and Meredy that it would complicate things to be with someone who walked in the light and now here he was with Lucy. He kept away from Ezra using the same excuses but why was he being so selfish when it came to Lucy? Being with her confused him as much as it brought him peace it was highly unlikely he would be able to keep it forever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

 **AN: I'm sorry. I lost this chapter and couldn't bring myself to re write it and then I found the memory stick where I saved it…**

The two of them were star gazing once again. He had taught her as much as he could and she had grown much more than he had ever expected. She had taken all he had to teach and then she flourished. She was going to go back home with a whole new bag of tricks and he was sure she would kick ass. She had truly accomplished everything she had set out to do and he had never been more proud of a student.

They would be leaving in a few days and as she stared at the stars she stole a few glances at him. Lucy had no idea when she would ever see him again but she did not want to lose him. It was so incredibly selfish especially because she considered Ezra a sister and she knew that Ezra loved him but she loved him too. It had taken her a long time to admit that Jellal was not just the type of man she could have fallen in love with but as much as she had warred with her mind, she had fallen in love with him. She didn't even know when it happened but all these months together everything just seemed to fall into place and she felt guilty. Loving Jellal was going o bring pain no matter how much she wished it wouldn't. They were sitting in silence until Lucy tried standing up, got tangled on the blanket they were lying on. Jellal tried catching her but they both went tumbling into the waterfall.

The both looked at each other and started laughing. This was just the type of cliché stuff that would happen to her. The silence while not awkward was definitely heavy and this was probably the best ice breaker they were going to get. Lucy opened her mouth to say something when Jellal stopped laughing and stared. She had been wearing a white blouse and some shorts but now he could see her breasts clearly in the water and his mouth went dry. Lucy looked down in confusion when he stopped laughing and blushed bright red, bring her hands up to cover herself. He remembered what she looked like naked. He had seen her wearing that sheer robe the first time they met in this clearing. He could never forget and now she was right in front of him, blushing so prettily and he had to taste her even if she booted him out of her camp for it. He had to know what the woman of his dreams tasted like even if it was just this once. He tugged on her arms and pulled her into his own before stealing a kiss.

Lucy's eyes widened when he kissed her and then she sighed and kissed him back. She could deal with the guilty feeling tomorrow but for today she was going to enjoy it. He was kissing her, the man that she loved was kissing her and it felt amazing. They broke the kiss when air became a necessity and then they were on each other again, months on longing looks, of stealing glances or the promise of maybe and now he could feel her everywhere. She set him on fire with a single kiss and he could feel her heart beating against his chest because he was holding her that close. He never wanted to let go, for all he cared lightening could strike him dead and he would die a happy man because with that first kiss he was home and there was only peace.

Lucy was burning and it felt so good. He set her on fire with a single kiss and she felt everything everywhere, it was like she was soaring through the sky because she could breathe and then she came crashing back down to earth and broke the kiss and scurried into her tent to change before he could blink. She had fled, without a single word, she just left him standing there in the waterfall.

Jellal slowly climbed out and once he changed as well, he went to apologize but she wouldn't let him, "I'm not sorry it happened. I wanted it too. I don't want to regret those feelings." Lucy absolutely refused to let him apologize for the moment they shared because she was going to treasure it forever.

Then he was confused, if she wanted it too then why stop and once again she was probably freaking physic because she answered him without him asking, "Ezra loves you. It's not fair to her. I'm sure you feel the same."

Jellal shook his head, "I do love her Lucy but I'm not I'm love with her."

Lucy looked at him shocked, how could he not love Ezra after everything they had been through, after all of their history how could he not love her?

Jellal couldn't stand the distance anymore and he tugged her into his arms as he settled in front of the fire. He set her in between his legs and wrapped his arms around her and sighed, "When we met in the tower we were just kids and we were all so lonely we clung to each other. Then I gave her a last name and honestly it didn't mean anything. I just wanted her to feel included in our little family. I blamed myself for our failed escape plan and I was not trying to protect just her I was trying to protect them all. I felt responsible for them especially because I brought them all together. Then I went mad, did stupid things and ended up kidnapping her again. I wanted her to suffer, in my twisted mind everyone else was suffering, our family was crumbling, and she had to be there to witness our end. Then I was half dead and ended up with memory loss and all I felt was guilt. I did not remember Ezra because I was in love with her. I remembered her and I remembered guilt, a crushing sense of I fucked up.

Ezra was the one who I wronged the most and we all knew when we were kids how much Simon loved Ezra and in my darkest hour I killed him. I remembered her because I wronged her and I could always tell when she was in danger. I care for her, and I want her to be happy but it can't be with me. I am a reminder of everything that she lost and even if she forgives me I cannot return those feelings like that. I never loved her like that. She was my family and I betrayed her."

Lucy just listened quietly and when he was done she replied, "Ezra forgave you. She knows that you weren't in your right mind. She loves you as much as she loved you back then."

Jellal chuckled, "You know in another life maybe we could have loved each other but we aren't the same children we were back at the tower. I carry much guilt mostly because I remember doing those awful things Lucy and I remember liking it, I remember the enjoyment I got when I hurt someone and I remember not caring when Simon died, thinking that he wasted his life and now I feel disgust towards myself. I loved them all and I killed him thinking it was nothing.

Ezra thinks she loves me but she loves the carefree little boy who was untouched by darkness and I am not him. I can't just look her in the eye and say I love her and then live happily ever after not after what I did to her and while she may forgive me she will never forget. Ezra may believe that she loves me but I don't think she truly does. I think she misses me and the promise of what might have been. Ezra has also changed a lot in the time we spent apart we have become different people and I love you. If I had to choose between you, I would choose you."

Lucy did not give him a reply that night and the next day, they started travelling back to Fairy Tail. Jellal needed to talk to Master Makarov about the games and Lucy was ready to return home. Lucy was wearing black leather pants with her knives strapped to her thighs and she wore a blue dress that reached the floor. There were two deep slits all the way up to her hips while the dress was backless and around her stomach was pattern of a star which slowed her flesh on her tummy. Her arms were bare and her hair tied in a high ponytail. She was currently wearing a cape to try and not draw attention to herself and him.

Lucy was sad to see her campsite go but she was more than ready to go home and she barely spent any of the money she took with her so she could probably pay for another months rent before the GMG. She was sure that Fairy Tail would take part because of the reward which would bail them out of debt. Lucy thought about everything Jellal said but she was unsure about everything. As much as she wanted to just stay in his arms she couldn't just do that. Ezra had to talk to him first and if he still felt that way then she would do something but for right now it felt too much like stealing for her to just start dating him and then there was the whole wanted criminal thing that needed to be seen too.

She thought that it was quite silly but she wanted Ezra's approval if she was going to be with him and she also for the life of her couldn't see Ezra just give the man she loves to a person she viewed as a sister. Would it even be right to ask for permission? What was she supposed to say, hey while I was training I met your old flame and I fell in love with him is that okay with you? She groaned she was giving herself a headache with all this thinking.

They were going to meet up with Meredy and Ultear in the next town and as they waited Lucy could hear scuffling and half a cry of something. Jellal seemed to be concentrating on trying to find his friends so Lucy went off to investigate herself.

Lucy found back alley where it looked like they were transporting a very unwilling passenger and the skinny one was swearing like a sailor, "We just had to be the ones to get the little whore. It was hard enough even snatch her in the first place what are we supposed to do with all the noise she's making?"

Lucy withdrew her daggers and before she could move she felt the cold steel of a blade against her neck and everyone froze, "Looks like we got another girlie. Maybe we can sell this one."

Lucy almost wanted to slap herself, how could she not have heard him come up behind her, he was built like a freaking house. She slammed her head backwards and felt his nose break before spinning and cutting him with the knife. As weapons from the spirit world, once cut the person falls asleep for 24 hours. Lucy did not want to kill anyone so the best bet would be to put them to sleep to ensure they did not wake up again and get in her way.

Before the fat guy behind her could fall, she was already moving, trying to reach the person in the sack when a staff slammed into the ground and a steam of energy missed her an inch. She cursed they had a mage with them and his stream of magic sent her into a corner in the alley. She was about to summon some help when the guy holding the staff released the spell again this time she wouldn't be able to move as she had her back against the wall when Jellal's energy beam countered the staff. He knocked out the mage while she knocked out everyone else and then opened the sack to help out whoever was inside.

She wore a white dress and had green hair and she was wearing some sort of headpiece. The woman took one look at Lucy and launched herself into her lap crying and thanking her. Jellal took two steps backwards when the tears came and Lucy was pretty sure he was about to take off running. Lucy almost rolled her eyes. No matter who they were when a girl started with the waterworks men ran for hills completely at a loss with how to handle the show of emotion and he was none the better.

"You helped too. You don't move." She said then started comforting the woman crying in her arms.

"My name is Lucy Heartfilia, I'm a Fairy Tail mage. What's your name?"

The woman finally calmed down, "I am Hisui E. Fiore, heiress to the throne of Fiore."

Lucy's jaw dropped, "Your highness, how did you end up here?"

The princess looked down in shame, "It's my fault. I slipped my guard and went into town when they recognized me. I was being so silly, I just wanted to do some shopping without everyone bowing in my presence. They thought they could ransom me. I could never thank you enough."

She turned to Jellal to thank him too but she caught sight of the tattoo and pulled of his hood. Jellal was getting ready to bolt when she spoke, "Why would an insane mad man save a helpless stranger?"

Lucy's eyes narrowed but she could also hear the curiosity, the princess was willing to listen so Lucy was going to take this opportunity, "We can tell you the whole story but we should get out of here."

They got a room in an inn, where Lucy told them the story about everything and when she was done Hisui asked, "If Zeref is still running around creating all this madness then the crown cannot stand by and do nothing. Crime Sorciere is doing the most in going after him and as such I will get your arrest warrants revoked. In return you will continue your hunt for Zeref and operate mostly as you have been. You will report to me whenever you crush dark guilds and I want progress updates on him. You will report directly to me and you will have to stay with a legal guild so that they can keep an eye on you. Since you were willing to listen to Lucy then you will join Fairy Tail and they can give reports to the council that you are behaving."

Jellal stood shock still, "Basically I do everything I am doing with your approval."

Hisui smiled, "Zeref is a danger not just to this country but the world. He has not been seen for hundreds of years and now no one knows what he's doing only that hell is breaking loose. I will not just sit by while the lives of my people are put at risk besides whether you deserve a second chance or not with this information the council still will not risk the lives of their rune knights or normal mages to go after him. Missions like this are suicidal for normal mages and the three of you do fine on your own so instead of wasting resources I'm going to put criminals lives on the line that way we don't waste resources looking for you, you take care of the dark guilds and bring us information on Zeref. Everyone wins."

Lucy had to admit that the princess was shrewd, she was unsure whether or not to trust them however she was correct as she did know that there were several rumours about Zeref and about the people going around and crushing dark guilds so she was going to use them. She would grant them freedom, they would have to take on dangerous jobs that no one else would do and report back and they got a second chance everyone got something. They would also be the responsibility of Fairy Tail actually they would be her responsibility.

Lucy groaned, she would be late going back home. They ended up meeting Meredy and Ultear and then ended up in the royal palace where they spoke with the king and Master Makarov before they finally would be able to take the train home. Lucy just wanted to sleep in her own bed.

Lucy had to admit that the King and his daughter were much shrewder than she realized. Once the king was caught up with everything that had happened he agreed with his daughter and her logic. They had a team of three extremely powerful mages who were willing to risk their lives doing things which technically would go against a series of rules and regulations. The magic council would have to have a vote about having a vote before they got off their asses to deal with any dangerous situations so they agreed that they should put to use these talented mages and if they decided to screw anyone over then it would be Fairy Tail's responsibility to bring them in. They would be saving time and money as they could finally stop dedicating resources to mages who if what they said was true were helping people.

Jellal knew that the royal family was going to use him and his team but he also knew that even though he didn't like the fact that they did not completely trust him this would be as close to freedom as he would ever get. They were going to take it especially since their orders came from the royal family. They would report to them and crush the dark guilds they came across while searching for information on Zeref, allowing the King to be updated on what was happening to his kingdom.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I'm sorry its like way late but hey at least I updated, I'm not abandoning this story and I might put up a Mystogan x Lucy story soon, lemme know if its something you might want to read… someone reviewed and said that Natsu and Ezra should be together since I broke up the pairing for my own guilty pleasures… The thing is I could never really see them together, and if Natsu couldn't be with Lucy then he should be with Lisanna especially since they had a past together as childhood friends. I thought I could pair Ezra with Gray, no offence to Juvia but she and Lyon could be together, at least he has an interest in her.**

Chapter 6

They were stuck in the palace for two more days while the information spread and the king had to deal with the fallout of him pardoning three extremely dangerous criminals. All three mages were given a medallion to show their status as personal mages of the royal family and as such every move they made was only to be reported to the King and if anyone had a problem with their work then you spoke to the King. Lucy took the time to try and think about her feelings and sort through them and all she found was more confusion.

She was glad that Jellal was free but everything else was just too much too soon. He would soon go back to the guild where Ezra was and then she would have to explain everything that happened between the two of them and she honestly did not want to hurt her friend. She also could not force Jellal to love Ezra as much as the red head loved him if Jellal did not return her feelings then she would get hurt either way. She would have no choice but to find love with someone else because no matter what if Jellal did not choose her Ezra would have to move on eventually.

However that still didn't make it right, at least not to Lucy. If Ezra confessed and Jellal rejected her Lucy could not find it in herself to just immediately confess her own feelings towards him because it would still hurt her but then the selfish part of her mind couldn't help but feel like she couldn't force Jellal to choose Ezra and it wasn't fair to her or to him if she stayed away from him just because she didn't want Ezra to be unhappy. Jellal was Ezra's first love and that's not something that you ever really get over, she would always have a special place in her heart for him but she would have to eventually see them together because as much as she loved Ezra, Lucy loved Jellal and she wanted to be with him. It just wasn't fair, no matter which way this played out someone was going to get hurt and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her friends.

"You seem to be thinking hard."

Lucy whirled around and saw Ultear walking towards her. The two women stared at the stars in silence until Lucy finally found the courage to break it.

"I fell in love with my best friends crush."

Lucy saw Ultear almost smile and motioned for her to carry on, "He loves me too but no matter how many ways I play it out in my head someone always gets hurt."

Ultear smiled kindly at the blonde in front of her. The girl had so much compassion she honestly had no idea how she did it.

"I know what you're thinking. You think that you can play off your feelings for Jellal and let Ezra have a chance but then he might reject her and she gets hurt or you could accept his feelings for you and Ezra still gets hurt. If you reject him even after he rejects Ezra then he gets hurt and so do you."

Lucy nodded surprised that she was able to figure out all her thoughts and the consequences of those thoughts if she took action.

Ultear shook her head at the girl, "We don't choose who we fall in love with Lucy. Jellal cared for Ezra but I know him for seven years now and he never thought of her like that not just because of guilt but also because he just did not feel that way. You make him feel like a man and for a long time he has only thought of himself as a monster and I believe that is why he could never be with Ezra because as much as she cared and forgave him he would always feel like a monster in her presence."

Lucy couldn't help but sigh because she hated the fact that Ultear had a point. Lucy was someone that Jellal did not share his dark past with even though she knew every detail about it. While the person who lived it has first hand experience, Jellal had always tried to be strong to protect everyone else. Jellal was never allowed to weak because he was too busy trying to be strong for everyone else and that was something, the part of himself that he had hidden away from Ezra.

Lucy wanted to say that with time Jellal could overcome the feeling of not being good for Ezra but the truth was that being with Ezra would probably only remind him of everything bad that he had done. He would never be able to forgive himself if he was with her. She would be the constant reminder of everything he ever did wrong and he would constantly try to ensure that she was always happy which would lead to her dominating the relationship. He would do anything so that she was happy and their relationship would never be a partnership. Ezra needed someone who would call her out on her bullshit and Jellal would never do that. She needed someone who would be equal to her and treat her like a person not as a flawless gem.

"Ezra deserves the truth Lucy from you as her friend and from Jellal who she shared so much with. No woman would want false hope and if Jellal was going to reject her then it is only fair that he tell her the truth. That he has another in his heart and you as her friend should be the one to tell her of what you shared with him. She will be hurt but she has no right to feel betrayed. Jellal never promised her anything nor did she ever promise him. I believe that she will be happy for you both because she loves you both she will want you to be happy and one day she will meet someone who loves her the way she deserves to be loved."

Lucy thanked Ultear and she also felt so much better. She needed a woman to talk too and Ultear had helped her more than she realized it was also time to find Jellal because they needed to talk. She found him in the gardens below her balcony.

"Its pretty late for you to be wondering around alone."

Lucy just rolled her eyes, "I couldn't sleep. I had too much to think about and then I spoke to Ultear."

Jellal opened an eye and scrowled, "What did she have to say?" In his experience women getting together to have a chat never ended well for the man that they were talking about.

Lucy sat down next to him, "Did you mean it? When you said that you choose me?"

Jellal just took a deep breath, "I don't lie Lucy. I've done some horrible things but I never out right lied, bent the truth and gave vague responses but never lied. I love you."

Lucy blushed, "I love you too but I don't want to start our relationship before you talk to Ezra. She should hear it from you that you don't return her feelings then I have to talk to her."

Jellal just raised an eyebrow, "You want her blessing?" Jellal was once more in a state of shock something that happened very often when he was in the presence of this blonde woman. How did you go about asking for someones blessing in a situation like this?

It was a question and Lucy rolled her eyes, "Not exactly. I just don't want it to be like I ran away, found her crush and then seduced him. I want her to know that I want her to be happy but if you don't love her then I can't force you to love her. We don't choose who we fall in love with and I want her to have her chance."

Jellal smiled, "You want her to confess so I can turn her down fair and square and then hope that someday she'll be okay with it."

Lucy groaned, "I know it doesn't make much sense but anything else just feels wrong. I just want her to get her chance so she knows that at least she tried."

Jellal smiled softly at her. She amazed him every time with her compassion. He understood where she was coming from, at least he understood it a little. He would let Lucy talk to Ezra and then he would talk to her too and from there they would take it a day at a time. It wasn't like he expected her to just faint in his arms and carry her off into the sunset.

Lucy looked up at the guild, Fairy Tail, still as tiny as remembered it being. She hated that their reputation had become so tarnished in the seven years that they had been away but if she was correct the GMG would start in two months but right now she needed to introduce the three mages to Master. He was contacted about them and he knew that Jellal and Ultear had history with Gray and Ezra and that they were trying to do the right thing so he agreed to take responsibility for them.

She opened the door to the guild and shouted out, "I'm home."

Lucy was shocked to see that the guild was mostly empty, however the Master welcomed her home warmly. She spoke to him about Jellal, Ultear and Meredy and everything that happened and the reason they had chosen to try and repent for their sins. The Master was willing to allow them into the guild since Lucy was sure of their intensions, however even though news that they had been pardoned had spread through the city, it wouldn't be wise for people to know that they were with Fairy Tail, it would bring too much attention especially since some would want to seek vengeance and them working with the royal family was supposed to be a secret.

It was agreed that Jellal would pose as Mystogan, many people knew that he had been the counterpart of Jellal so if he showed his face, no one would be surprised. Meredy was not as well-known as her partners as she had been very young when she was part of a dark guild, no one really knew what she looked like since she had hidden herself for so long and Ultear merely changed her hair colour to a light purple, making her look like a different person. It was enough that normal people wouldn't recognize them at first sight.

The three each got their guild-marks, Ultear on her shoulder blade, Meredy on her spine and Jellal on his chest. Lucy asked where her team was and Master informed her that everyone went to train for the GMG that would take place in two months. He gave her the address for where Team Natsu was currently training for the past month.

Lucy and the trio decided to meet up with the team first, Jellal needed to talk to Ezra and Ultear thought it would be a good idea to open up second origin for everyone else.

Natsu had not been pleased when he heard that Lucy was away and when Lisanna had decided to go with her siblings to train instead of coming with him, he was even more on edge. He had added Wendy to his nest and had taken to creating a large nest filled with pillows and soft pillows so that they could all sleep together.

Gray and Ezra had been a little out of depth at the puppy like Natsu who kept making sure they were alright and looking for cuddles and reassurance. In short, they kept him occupied with training going so far as to drag Wendy along and had him train her hard so that the ass would just pass out from exhaustion. They loved him and they didn't want Natsu to actually hurt himself but this was getting tiring. They didn't know how long they could deal with him like this, on the bright side they had both gotten a lot of training done this past month and they knew that they were already at a higher level than when they first got here but seven years is a long time and a large gap, they still had a long way to go and very little time to do so.

Gray and Ezra had bonded a little bit more during this time and when Natsu started rubbing his cheek against Gray's back to cover the ice mage in his scent, Gray just sighed, while Natsu had been gone he had done a lot weirder and a lot worse, this was actually a compromise since it wasn't the most humiliating thing he would do. He shared a look with Ezra and she sighed.

"I really hope Lucy gets back soon." She muttered and Gray just nodded his head agreeing with her.

Natsu suddenly looked up and roared. Ezra and Gray jumped to their feet but Natsu was already gone, headed towards some bridge and then he threw himself at one of the hooded figures.

"Lucy!" he shouted and the woman in the hood laughed.

Ezra and Gray smiled at each other, she was finally back.

"Natsu, I'm back." She whispered and he nodded happily.

"Don't go again, not for so long at least let us come too next time."

Lucy laughed, "I had to do this Natsu but I'm really strong now, I bet I could actually put up a fight against you now."

Natsu gave her his famous fanged smirk, "Alright Luce, we'll fight."

Ezra cut him off, "Tomorrow, you can fight tomorrow after we all rest. Lucy who are your friends?"

Lucy smiled awkwardly, "That's kind of a long story but you guys already know them."

Ezra was shocked to see Jellal and then they all listened to Lucy and her story and eventually she came to how they had been pardoned and joined Fairy Tail. Ultear offered to open their second origin in the morning and give them all time to learn how to use the extra magic which would help close the gap from the seven years that they had been gone. They all agreed and went to bed with Natsu placing Lucy in his nest and Jellal laughing as his team went to their own rooms for the night.

Lucy sighed in the middle of their puppy pile, she knew about dragon slayers and kin and the scenting thing, Natsu explained it to her when she threatened to ward her home so he couldn't sneak in anymore. It helped her understand him a bit more as well so she was more used to his behavior than the rest of their team but while she explained what happened while she was away, she didn't explain everything.

She told them of how Jellal had come across her camp and that he trained her and then how they rescued the princess and managed to get him pardoned but she didn't tell Ezra about their kiss or their confession. It was late and everyone was running high on emotions, she wanted to wait a little bit, but she wouldn't wait long, no that would make it seem like she was trying to hide it from her and that would make it worse.

She knew that Ezra and Jellal would probably talk tomorrow in the morning, probably while Ultear opened everyone's second origin that would ensure that they would have privacy and then she would talk to Ezra but only when she was ready. She would need time to process what Jellal told her and when she came to Lucy then she would explain everything to her but Jellal and Ezra had history, one that they needed to clear so that they could all move forward in their lives without regrets.

She just hoped that Ezra understood and that she wouldn't end up hating Lucy for how things turned out, she didn't want to lose her sister but she also didn't want to lose Jellal. He may not be hers yet but there was a possibility of a future between the two of them and she wanted to explore that possibility with her family by her side and maybe that was selfish of her but she couldn't help but hope that it all worked out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Jellal was nervous, he knew that he needed to talk to Ezra but the truth was that he actually didn't know what she felt for him. They had never spoken about their feelings, they were just children when they were slaves and even though they had cared for each other they had been very young and the conditions they lived in weren't exactly normal.

He had not seen her again for many years and once he had she had grown into a beautiful kind young woman but one that he no longer knew or recognized. The little girl that he had known was quiet and shy and even a little reserved at times but the woman she had become had fire in her eyes. She was passionate and strong and completely wrong for him.

He did not need a warrior that would walk beside him, he had been clawing his way tooth and nail out of a dark, bloody place filled with destruction and pain. He didn't want to fight all the time and standing beside her would only bring them both pain, she may think that she could overlook what had happened but in the long run he knew that their past would poison anything that they tried to build. She was an unforgettable woman but his memories of her would always be marred by pain, guilt and blood and she didn't need someone that reminded her of that horrible place, she needed someone that she could forge a future with, one filled with happiness and love.

He watched as Lucy kept an eye on her team while Ultear opened their second origin and motioned Ezra to join him outside. It was time to clear up their past so that they could both move on to a better future.

"You remember everything, our childhood, the tower even the Nirvana incident." She said it as a statement not a question she already knew the answer and he smiled at her.

"It was strange to think of myself with amnesia but yes I remember everything." He replied to her.

"Even Simon?" she asked and he sighed sadly.

"There was a time when I would have let you kill me for what I did, there was a time when I wanted to die, there was a time I wondered why I was alive and living this cursed life and then we created a guild."

Ezra smiled at the mention of the guild, "You were seeking redemption."

Jellal laughed but it was a hollow sound, "I don't know what I was trying to do, nothing will change the past and there is no redemption not for something like that but someone told me recently that if I wanted to be punished then living was my punishment, I would have to live with everything I had done and find a way to atone for it even if I had to spend the rest of my life doing so."

Ezra smiled, that sounded like something Lucy would say, "Simon wouldn't have wanted you to die, that would be cowardly, you have to go on even when you don't know what you're doing."

They were standing really close and she turned her head upwards, all he had to do was close the gap and he would be able to kiss her but he pushed her backwards, "We can't Ezra. There is someone else.

Ezra wanted to freak out but she always knew when he was lying but this time she knew that he wasn't lying and that there really was someone else in his life. She was glad that he was able to be honest with her even though it wasn't what she hoped to hear, a part of her was happy that he was happy.

"Is she dear to you?" she asked.

Jellal nodded his head and she smiled, "Good, as long as you're happy."

Jellal looked at her, really looked at her and he knew she was beautiful with the suns rays on her she looked like an angel and he knew the man that captured her heart would be a really lucky guy and in another life he would have been honoured to be with her but he had already given his heart away.

"I want you be happy too Ezra. I'm not the same Jellal from when we were kids, I'm not the same boy who went mad or the lost man in the forest. I want us to be friends but I also want you to be happy, really happy with someone who treats you like the queen I know you are, it just can't be me."

He knew that she understood when he stressed to her that it couldn't be him that would treat her the way she deserved to be treated. It wasn't a maybe someday in the future answer, it was an honest, there can never be anything between us answer that was final and Ezra knew that he was not going to change his mind.

Jellal left her alone while she joined her friends to open her second origin. The pain helped to distract her and while everyone rested her thoughts ran wild in her head. She could traces of the boy she had known but he was just so different now, then again a long time had passed and they had both grown apart, sometimes these things just didn't work out and she knew logically that they had spent more time apart than they had together.

In her heart, she knew that once she had left the tower as a child, she knew that there was no getting Jellal back at least not the person that she had known and he loved her she knew that he just wasn't in love with her and if she was really honest she knew it was the same for her.

Jellal had been a constant in her life as both good and bad memories and she had wanted desperately to hold on to the promise of what might have been because it was just easier but it was time that she finally let the past go. Jellal was no longer a monster in the shadows, a ghost, a prisoner or even a wanted criminal anymore. He was finally free to walk in the light and while he was able to do that she was free of the chains that had once bound them together.

It hurt though, her childhood crush and the first person that she ever loved had turned her down but at the same time it was nothing less than what she had expected. The pain was less than she had imagined but only because she thought she wanted to be with him more than she actually did, her heart always knew that while Jellal would be special to her he was not the person she would spend her life with.

Jellal spoke to Lucy about everything that happened between the two of them and when he was finally done explaining Lucy smiled at him.

"At least she isn't angry at you but I don't know what will happen when she finds out about me."

Jellal wrapped his arms around the girl and breathed in her scent, "Ezra isn't a bad person and she loves you. I'm sure that she will understand, in fact I think she already knew that we wouldn't work out. She was just holding on to the past, one that didn't give many options for the future and now she is finally free of me and the ghosts of the past."

He wanted to kiss Lucy, he finally had her in his arms and it felt perfect in every way but it wouldn't be right and it definitely was not the right time. They would be together hopefully soon but he respected the fact that Lucy wanted to tell Ezra first, that she didn't want to keep secrets from her and that Lucy wanted her sisters blessing. He had done right by Ezra by being honest with her and now it was Lucy's turn to do the same. He could wait a little while longer, she was worth it.

Natsu really wanted to see how much more powerful Lucy had become so he was begging her to fight him as soon as she woke up but Ezra once more stopped him and reminded him that he needed to get used to having so much magic at his disposal or he could probably burn Lucy to ashes by accident.

The pink haired man huffed and went into the woods to destroy some stuff while getting used to the extra magic. Gray and Wendy decided to meditate and get used to the magic that they were feeling while Ezra asked if Lucy was willing to spar with her today. She was curious to see how well the blonde woman could use her daggers.

Ezra was proud at how well Lucy was doing in the spar, she went slowly at first testing her new abilities and found that the two women were able to work up a good sweat while they fought. She always knew that Lucy had a lot of potential but this was more than she expected for such a short amount of time. They were using magic just fighting and she was doing really well. She hoped Lucy would be willing to spar with her more often.

"You have improved very much in such a short time. You should be proud." Ezra told her as they took a break and Lucy smiled brightly.

"I had my spirits and Jellal was a demon. He worked me extremely hard but I was happy that he took my training seriously."

Ezra smiled at the mention of how hard she worked and she knew that Lucy had taken her training very seriously. Once she made up her mind it was impossible to get her to change it and this trip that she had taken had brought out a new confidence in her. She seemed more at peace and happier with herself and that was something that she was very pleased with. Lucy had always seemed a little lost and unsure of what she was doing and now that was gone, she had grown in her experience as a mage.

"Ezra, there is something that you should know about what happened when I was gone. I didn't mean for it to happen it just did and I don't know if you will be angry or upset but I didn't want to hide it from you or lie about what happened." Lucy rushed to say everything that she wanted to say and she hoped Ezra didn't cut her off because if she stopped she didn't think she would be able to start again.

Ezra was shocked to see Lucy so in a hurry to say something. She also knew that whatever she was about to say was going to be upset her in some way and she didn't understand how but Lucy was like a little sister to her so she didn't know why she was so nervous to tell her something so she grabbed on to Lucy's shoulders and said, "Calm down. Just tell me whatever you need to say and then we'll find a way to go forward but I will not hate you."

"Jellal and I kissed and he told me that he wanted to be with me and I told him that I couldn't say yes until he spoke to you and cleared up the past that you shared."

Lucy closed her eyes as she said it, really quickly like pulling off a band aid. She waited a minute and she didn't hear anything so she opened her eyes and looked at Ezra's blank face. She didn't say anything, she didn't do anything, she just stood there processing and Lucy wanted to hide under a rock for some reason. This was getting weird and she just wished she would say something, anything.

"Do you love him Lucy?" asked Ezra at last and Lucy just nodded.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Replied Ezra when she nodded her head and Lucy just looked at her helplessly.

"I don't know either. I just didn't know what to do. I went away because I wanted to find a reason to be proud of myself, I didn't expect to find Jellal or for him to offer to train me and what started as a friendship turned into more and as much as I wanted to be with him I couldn't because I thought I would be betraying you."

Lucy had tears in her eyes, she was caught between two people that she loved and her loving one of them was probably going to hurt the other person. It just wasn't fair, love was supposed to be beautiful and pure and no one was supposed to get hurt.

Ezra wiped her tears, "Loving someone is not a crime Lucy and you can never betray me. You have to be true to yourself and if doing that leads you to Jellal then I'm happy for you both. You both deserve to be happy and I will be alright. He was never really mine in the first place."

Lucy threw herself into Ezra's arms and cried. She had no idea how stressed out the whole situation was making her until she had finally faced it. A little while later Natsu asked Lucy to fight him and the two went into the forest to spar while Ezra took some time to herself.

Ultear saw her and joined her on the beach. "I take it Lucy finally spoke you." Said Ultear and Ezra just nodded numbly.

"Are you alright?" she asked and Ezra gave her a small smile.

"I think so, it hurts a little but at the same time thinking about the two of them feels right somehow. At least I know they will be good to each other."

Ultear had no idea how Ezra could possibly feel like that but then again she was a strong woman and it seemed like she had already made peace with the fact that Jellal and her were never really meant to be together. She actually seemed like she was at peace knowing that two people that she dearly cared for had found each other. She hoped that Ezra found someone that would love her in the same way.

Natsu and Lucy sparred hard and fast, it even got a little bloody and he was impressed. He always knew that she was strong but he could admit that her strength was not fighting. She was strong in other ways but now she was giving him a damn good fight. Her abilities had improved, her fighting, even her magic power and her eyes were shining with joy that she was able to do this, that she was able to stand against him even though he knew that if they really tried he would put her down but it would be a tough fight, she was able to carry her own weight now and that made him proud of her.

She was laughing in joy as she flew through the woods, fighting against Natsu was something that she would never have thought she would be able to do but here she was and it was amazing. She knew he was still stronger than her but at the same time she knew that if she tried now she could hurt him, probably stand against him for a little and that meant that she had accomplished what she had set out to do, she could carry her own weight in team Natsu now and go on solo missions without anyone getting worried about her.

"You and Jellal huh?" said Natsu when they finally took a break and Lucy nearly choked on her water.

"I can smell him on you Lucy." Natsu gave her fanged grin at her large blush.

"It just kind of happened." Replied Lucy.

"Did you tell Ezra?" asked Natsu and Lucy nodded, "Just before we sparred, I thought I should give her some space."

Natsu smiled, "Is he good to you?"

Lucy rolled her eyes, "Yes he is."

"Then I'm happy for you and don't worry about Ezra, she's happy for you too. If he hurts you though I'll kill him."

Lucy felt a cold shiver run down her back at the dead serious sound of Natsu's voice promising to kill him and she honestly did not think that was a joke. She sighed it didn't matter how much more powerful she became or how old they got Natsu would always be protective and possessive over her and he probably would kill him if he hurt her. Lucy sighed, things suddenly felt very normal to her, her friends worrying about her and getting over protective, threatening to kill people to defend her honour and honestly it felt like she was finally home.

She hoped that Ezra wouldn't be sad for very long and they could go back to normal soon. She met up with Jellal that night before bed and found that Ezra was spent the rest of the day with Ultear and Meredy. She was getting to know her new guild mates and she seemed happy enough.

"How did she take it?" asked Jellal and Lucy told him everything that happened.

Jellal sighed, "She really is kind."

Lucy nodded her head, "I don't know if she would actually tell me if anything was wrong."

Jellal just sighed, "We have two more months here, maybe in that time she'll just used to this, to us."

Lucy nodded and cupped his cheek, "I hope so."

She kissed him, at last, she finally kissed him and this time it didn't matter who saw because the person who mattered the most already knew the truth and it had come from the people who loved her and didn't want to lie to her and for that she knew she was blessed even if she couldn't have Jellal as a lover then at least she had him as a friend and she still had her family.


End file.
